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Showing posts from April, 2009

I Am Sorry!

..And I really mean it...
Just "three" words,
Can't change what I said unwillingly,
I can only try to heal,
Deep from my soul,
I meant no harm.
Deep from my heart
that conveys an apology...
It hurts like hell,
to hurt those who love me,
I pray for the best of all,
even if you don't believe me,
I still burn....Please forgive me!!

The Phenomenon

The nature dazzles me with its wonders every time I look at it. No matter where I am; what am I doing?
Somehow it has now felt my addiction towards it and may be now showering its love back to me in all these mini wonderful sights it shows to me.
This was another of the most magnificent gifts it has shown me till now.
I was leaving Bangalore on April 18th, 2009. Everything was going fine. I boarded my flight at 6:25 PM. It took off at 7 PM sharp.
The perfect twilight lied outside; though nothing was visible about the sky since it was all covered with dark clouds; supposed to be full of rain and thunder.
The plane took off and glided past the clouds; above them. The view from my window here took my breath away for a moment. The horizon with its orange-blue color canvas along with the perfectly dark clouds laid there in the vastness; and then there was this huge wonder of the wonders; just lying between the indefiniteness of the dark stretch, ending in the drowning sunlight.
I blinked and sa…

Heart: Dead and beating at the same time?

Vacuum; a hole or many; and then the very thing – going into pieces.
The breath and the beat; all enough to keep it assembled: physically.
Wonder what happened; emotionally? how to decide that?
The fact that: I don’t feel anything?

But I do feel…

Not in a people’s world though. Sounds weird!! I know… to me too.

- Instrumental Music
- Books
- Endless walks in the woods and breeze.
- Staring at the moon and the stars in night sky.
- Watching the sea waves splashing my feet.
- Lying on the cold slide in the park; temperature - some -20 degree Celsius; eyes closed; music in ears; full volume.
- Playing piano.
- Writing.
- Reading.
- Dreaming.
- Mirror.
- Voice.

But where is the affinity?

Why can’t someone’s voice make me feel that?
- Or Someone’s song?
- Or Someone’s talks?
- Or Someone’s company for my walk? (Makes me rather uncomfortable!)
- Or my friends besides me while I look at the stars and moon… why I yearn to be alone then?
- Or a friend holding my hand to just play around wit…

Purgatory….

What is?
The state of those who die in God’s friendship, assured of their eternal salvation, but who still have need of purification to enter into the happiness of heaven.
Can it lie on this mortal earth?
Who knows?
It feels as if one never was born despite a great master mirage making everyone believe it, but he has been serving this state of purgatory only since the times of his consciousness.

And how can the purification be done?.. I wonder!!

...

Its been months since the tuberose spread its fragrance nearby..
Its been months since she slept peacefully at night..
She fascinated the dark,and dreaded the days She called for someone, and saw no trace..
"Where to go?" she asked herself, and to her embarrassment, she asked this to everyone else..
Her own seemed to be ditching her, Can there be any escape?
They got confused at this strange question, "Can't you see the landscapes?" "You know your home, its always there for you" - they said, She blinked at them, trying to get some sense of that
"Can anyone let me go back to my sleep?" - she asked, They stared at her, doubting some insanity hidden and masked
"A sleep is what I desire, the long pending one, Where the dreams I see, feel more real than this blazing sun"
No one answered, all she got was silence, She went to the terrace and saw the sky, Her best friends didn't seem, to be there, the moon and the stars to bid her good bye..
"Wish me…