A blog on various topics related to Home and Living, Lifestyle, Entertainment, Relationships, Self Help, Fiction and Spirituality. I love to share some of my life incidences too on this blog, so if you want to know me more, just grab a cup of coffee and go through my life here!

I Am Sorry!

..And I really mean it...

Just "three" words,

Can't change what I said unwillingly,

I can only try to heal,

Deep from my soul,

I meant no harm.

Deep from my heart

that conveys an apology...

It hurts like hell,

to hurt those who love me,

I pray for the best of all,

even if you don't believe me,

I still burn....Please forgive me!!
The Phenomenon

The Phenomenon

The nature dazzles me with its wonders every time I look at it. No matter where I am; what am I doing?

Somehow it has now felt my addiction towards it and may be now showering its love back to me in all these mini wonderful sights it shows to me.

This was another of the most magnificent gifts it has shown me till now.

I was leaving Bangalore on April 18th, 2009. Everything was going fine. I boarded my flight at 6:25 PM. It took off at 7 PM sharp.

The perfect twilight lied outside; though nothing was visible about the sky since it was all covered with dark clouds; supposed to be full of rain and thunder.

The plane took off and glided past the clouds; above them.
The view from my window here took my breath away for a moment. The horizon with its orange-blue color canvas along with the perfectly dark clouds laid there in the vastness; and then there was this huge wonder of the wonders; just lying between the indefiniteness of the dark stretch, ending in the drowning sunlight.

I blinked and saw it once more. Was it even real? Or may be I was dreaming. I pressed my eyes towards the tiny window and saw it again.

There was this some sort of miracle of the nature welcoming me in its grounds or rather skies.
A huge cloud, alone and just above its other group members and unbelievably in a shape of heart; Yes! .... exactly the curves of heart, lying there in front of me; so splendid; all made up of rain clouds only.

It looked as if it was submerged halfway in the huge ocean of the dark clouds below it. As I prolonged my incredulous stare on it; it thundered and its heart shaped walls just glowed in the lightening; as if it just acknowledged my stare back.

My senses went numb by the sight so powerful and spectacular. I still don't have words enough to describe it, yet I am doing this futile attempt to explain it here.

And again I felt frustrated about not carrying a camera in my hand. The glow; the whole presence was so magical; I didn't know how to react and suddenly my eyes were overwhelmed with tears (or by the lightening may be!! ).

The heart acknowledged it again and glowed more incandescently this time as if returning back my overwhelming emotions.

I stared at it and it remained silent as if it too was looking at me; silently; till the time my plane was crossing ; going far away from it.
The moment it was about to go away from my vicinity, it glowed again;fiercely this time; splashing the thunder so clearly, I could see the lightening between the two halves of the heart;
And it looked like; it just broke!

(P.S. I tried a lot searching any pic like that on google; couldn't find any to justify the whole thing. I don't know how much I explained the whole phenomenon. I still go in a state of trance when i remember the beauty of it. May be I can try to paint it sometime......or may be not!! )

Heart: Dead and beating at the same time?

Vacuum; a hole or many; and then the very thing – going into pieces.
The breath and the beat; all enough to keep it assembled: physically.
Wonder what happened; emotionally? how to decide that?
The fact that: I don’t feel anything?

But I do feel…

Not in a people’s world though. Sounds weird!! I know… to me too.

- Instrumental Music
- Books
- Endless walks in the woods and breeze.
- Staring at the moon and the stars in night sky.
- Watching the sea waves splashing my feet.
- Lying on the cold slide in the park; temperature - some -20 degree Celsius; eyes closed; music
in ears; full volume.
- Playing piano.
- Writing.
- Reading.
- Dreaming.
- Mirror.
- Voice.

But where is the affinity?

Why can’t someone’s voice make me feel that?
- Or Someone’s song?
- Or Someone’s talks?
- Or Someone’s company for my walk? (Makes me rather uncomfortable!)
- Or my friends besides me while I look at the stars and moon… why I yearn to be alone then?
- Or a friend holding my hand to just play around with me in sea waves, why I have sudden urge
to just leave and go along the waves far far away?
- Or someone’s presence?


Piano: Fascinating when I play…Tiring when others join in.

Human is a social animal.

What would you call an unsocial human?


What is?
The state of those who die in God’s friendship, assured of their eternal salvation, but who still have need of purification to enter into the happiness of heaven.

Can it lie on this mortal earth?
Who knows?
It feels as if one never was born despite a great master mirage making everyone believe it, but he has been serving this state of purgatory only since the times of his consciousness.

And how can the purification be done?..
I wonder!!


Its been months since
the tuberose spread its fragrance nearby..

Its been months since
she slept peacefully at night..

She fascinated the dark,and dreaded the days
She called for someone, and saw no trace..

"Where to go?" she asked herself,
and to her embarrassment,
she asked this to everyone else..

Her own seemed to be ditching her,
Can there be any escape?

They got confused at this strange question,
"Can't you see the landscapes?"
"You know your home, its always there for you" - they said,
She blinked at them,
trying to get some sense of that

"Can anyone let me go back to my sleep?" - she asked,
They stared at her,
doubting some insanity hidden and masked

"A sleep is what I desire,
the long pending one,
Where the dreams I see,
feel more real than this blazing sun"

No one answered, all she got was silence,
She went to the terrace and saw the sky,
Her best friends didn't seem, to be there,
the moon and the stars to bid her good bye..

"Wish me luck, if you can see me" she said with smiles,
"For I have to travel a long distance,may be some infinite miles",

And she slept her sleep,
the best of all..
Where there were only dreams and peace,
for her to carry on...

To the infinity
To the eternity...
and to the sanity......for all :)

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